Why Don't We
Succeed more often?
Think for a moment about some of the ways we use to create change:
We have a new idea about how to make life better.
In our desire to get people to do/use it, we "market or sell" to them, so they will buy or accept it.
Sounds perfectly logical, right? Many of us do this in our work.
Yet how many people like being “marketed or sold to”?
And how many us really want to "market or sell" to others?
So where's the disconnect?
Approach # 2:
We see a problem and come up with a solution.
To get people to act, we try our best to convince or control them -- often using fear, guilt, pressure or force (such as policies, regulations, threats or punishment) to 'motivate' them. But they still don’t do it. So what's wrong with this picture?
Pressure, force, fear and guilt actually turn people off, not on.
They increase resistance and deaden our desire to change, rather than increase it.
Yet how often do we use these -- in our personal relationships, with staff or management,
or with businesses, government or the public?
How often have you said to yourself:
"I wish that person would change." -or- "How can I get them to change their behaviour?"
Frequently in life we believe that if others would change, our problems would be solved. So we focus our efforts on trying to change their thinking or actions. This leads to a lot of frustration and conflict, while using up lots of time & energy – yet often without great results. Why?
Because most people don't want to be changed.
(It’s just part of human nature.)
How can we do things differently?
These are just some of the ways we commonly use to try to “improve” our lives. We've all used them. The problem is, they often don’t work very well...
Conscious change is about better understanding why people do or don’t change. Then, using these insights, it's about shifting our own thinking and behaviour, so we become more effective in engaging and helping people to act on what matters to them.
When we understand “human nature” better – especially in what helps-or-blocks us from making change – we can accomplish more of the outcomes we really want.